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Does it really change with time ?

I wish it did!

Just reached home.. i went to see a stage play today.. made me realize things i had tried really hard not to think about..

The conclusion after all the introspection was :

" I Declared a variable final and assigned it a junk value "

With the programming paradigm, a value once assigned to a final variable cant be changed again in your entire program.

i created a variable and assigned it a value many clock cycles back.. but seldom did i realize it was a final variable and the value that i assigned was junk !

My pointer is stuck somewhere in time.. it cant move, i cant reassign it and it keeps pointing to that junk value..

Time changes things they said.. well does it ?? If it did why is the variable still 'final' and why does it keep pointing to the junk value!

Time doesn't change things.. Things change when people decide its time!

But i just cant bring myself to make that decision and at the same time i WANT that change to happen!

Bloody irritating thoughts! my brain processes them at the rate of 1000 per second!
and it adds fuel when something u see makes u think about something that you always try not to think of..

What do u do ? Do u just try to forget everythng and go to sleep like you always do ?
Do u try to type 5 paged sms to send it to a friend and seek help ? and then do u save the message in drafts thinking it wud be impossible for u to explain it to your friend!

Saddest part is when in the morning u meet your friends and they ask you, "why are u so low today? wheres ur energy ?" you have nothing else to say except ," had less sleep "


I dont know what i typed, i might regret it later when they ask me wht was it all about.. but one thing i know for sure is.. i didn't want to save it in 'drafts'...... not this time!




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